Ayanda Ncwane shares why she won’t have s.e.x before marriage. Ayanda Ncwane has proven to be an attraction since the start of Real Housewives of Durban. We visit her home, where she indulges us on everything.
Since the broadcast of the Real Housewives of Durban (RHOD), music mogul Ayanda Ncwane (36) hasn’t stopped trending. She trended religiously almost every Friday, when a new episode would be flighted on Showmax. “People hadn’t experienced the real Ayanda, but finally, they are getting to see my colourful personality,” she gushes, as she sips tea in her lounge at one of the leafy Dainfern estates, a prestigious suburb in the north of Johannesburg.
“People would see me on social media and have perceptions of me. What they didn’t know is that there are many dimensions to me – although serious, I am also bubbly and fun. People have fallen in love with the well- put-together woman that I am,” the mom of two smiles. In the first episode of RHOD
HER HUSBAND’S OTHER CHILD AND BABY MAMA
But things haven’t always been rosy, as Ayanda admits she has faced some tribulations in her relationship. In the first episode of RHOD, she came face to face – unknowingly, she claims – with the mother of S’fiso’s other child. It was during a Diwali dinner at Sorisha Naidoo’s mansion with all the housewives, that Nonkululeko Williams, known as Nonku, turned up as a companion to one of the housewives.
During the dinner, it emerged that Nonku knew Ayanda very well, telling all and sundry that she had a child with Ayanda’s late husband. Ayanda was shocked, she says, because she knew about the child and the mom, but had never met the woman before. Ayanda explains how this entire situation came about.
“In 2006, for about eight months, S’fiso and I separated while we were dating. I was on a spiritual journey that entailed no sex. I got saved and I told him that he was either with me on this journey, or not. He wasn’t, so we went our separate ways,” she says.
S’FISO DIDN’T CHEAT
Even though S’fiso and Ayanda’s first child had already been born, they parted ways. It was during this time that Nonku fell pregnant with S’fiso’s child. “People think S’fiso cheated on me, but we were not together at the time. We were not even married; we only got married in June 2007,” she says. Then they reconnected again.
S’fiso visited Ayanda’s mother and grandmother and told them that, while they were on a break with Ayanda, he had fathered a child with someone else. “They adored him and he was perfect in their eyes, so they sat us down and we reconciled. We went to church, but I was adamant that I was not going to engage in premarital sex. He repented, and months later, we got married,” Ayanda recalls.She says S’fiso’s child with
Nonku was never a secret. Nonku was married, and had left the child with her mom, and she and S’fiso would often fetch the little girl from her grandmother’s house to come and visit them.
“I knew Nonku’s mom because our interaction was with her, but I had never met Nonku herself,” she explains. While many women would be unforgiving at having their dirty laundry aired for all to see, Ayanda couldn’t care less. “Meeting Nonku in person and being able to talk like adults was God’s plan. My stories have been shared the wrong way, so through this, I am telling it live,” she says, adding that it’s God’s plan to live this moment in the public eye.
WANTING A BABY
Ayanda is an open book and she shared on the reality show that she wants a baby before she is 40. “I’ve been praying about it. Bab’ Ncwane and I had a name for our daughter, but unfortunately God took him before we could have the child. Through God’s grace and God willing, I will have a baby before I am 40, as I don’t want a huge gap between my children.”
So does this mean she is dating again after losing her husband? “I have started looking at CVs,” she laughs. “In 2018 I started a sowing a seed and praying for a partner. God is preparing someone for me. When friends push me to start dating, I always tell them that I am in no hurry,” she says.
“I took a vow that I would give myself five years to heal properly so that I don’t compare my new partner to S’fiso.”
Ayanda says she wants someone who will complement her intellect and everything she represents in business and in the kingdom of God. “I don’t want someone who will take chances,” she emphasises, adding that she will not even describe the kind of qualities she wants in a man, just in case a sheep comes in wolf’s clothing. “I want to look at and identify those qualities myself and know that the person is genuine. I don’t want people to come wearing these qualities to capture Ayanda,” she says, hinting that she has a big crush on the president of Russia, Vladimir Putin.
For now, she is a hard-working single mom who wants to give her children the best.
“Single mothers are powerful. I was raised by a single mom and grandmother, so becoming a single mom at a young age wasn’t a train smash. I adapted easily.”
While being on RHOD might imply that Ayanda is a housewife, Ayanda works hard for her money and owns Ncwane Communications. “I’ve always loved music, but I never thought I would go this far and be involved this much. My business focuses on empowerment and upliftment of musicians from the ground up. We also scout talent, do artist promotion and management, brand management of musicians, and host one of the biggest gospel festivals in SA,” she says, adding that each year God favours them by “opening our eyes to the opportunities that are available to empower not only our artists, but also those signed to other labels”.
She says their vision is to see musicians become independent, own their intellectual property and their music, and be aware of the copyright laws and so forth. What many people don’t know is that Ayanda is the brains behind Abathandwa, a much-loved gospel group that became famous for Umoya Wam.
“Abanthandwa have done well. The goal was not to expose them only to the South African market; we also wanted to grow them globally. In my research, I discovered that if we positioned them just for the South African market, their lifespan would be short. So, we recorded them, created a footprint in South Africa, and then immediately took them out. We started travelling around Africa, and they became known. But, honestly, since last year we haven’t been working due to Covid-19. We are putting plans together for the global stages we initially planned,” she continues.